


you forgot me (now gimme the pizza)

by Haxxaholic



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Crack, Joe is a delivery boy, M/M, Silva is so done with him, Texting, Villa is an idiot, Villa is naugthy, he is not even in this fic, really naughty, they are all mentioned once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 18:02:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5937826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haxxaholic/pseuds/Haxxaholic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(5.50) David Silva says<br/>You were right for once.<br/>They forgot me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you forgot me (now gimme the pizza)

**Author's Note:**

> I am sorry, seriously.  
> and the title is taken from the Gimme pizza song by the Olsen twins. Just... don't listen to it. I am still scared.

**_David Silva is Online_ **  
   
 

(4.53 pm) **David Villa** **says**  
silvaaaaaaaaa  
i am bored  
talk to me

  
(4.57 pm) **David Silva says**  
I'm waiting for pizza.

  
(4.58 pm) **David Villa says**  
share with me  
i am too tired to make something  
:(((

  
(5.02 pm) **David Silva says**  
Come here and get some.

  
 (5.03 pm) **David Villa says**  
no you come here  
i am too lazy to move

  
(5.04 pm) **David Silva says**  
You are the one who moved to New York, not me.

  
 (5.05 pm) **David Villa says**  
i hate you  
respect for elders is lost nowadays  
:((((((

  
 (5.07 pm) **David Silva says**  
You are 4 years older than me, grandpa.

  
 (5.08 pm) **David Villa says**  
yeah  
i definitely hate you  
and that’s daddy to you, babe ;) ;) ;)

  
 (5.10 pm) **David Silva says**  
Ignoring you now.

  
 (5.11 pm) **David Villa says**  
;) ;)

  
 (5.12 pm) **David Silva says**  
I've been waiting for almost two hours now haha.  
   
(5.13 pm) **David Villa says**  
? what  
   
(5.14 pm) **David Silva says**  
I’ve been waiting for almost 2hours for the pizza?  
I'm going to be super mad when they finally arrive with it.  
*IF* it arrives one day.  
No tips for the guy.  
   
(5.17 pm) **David Villa says**  
eh  
that's not normal  
and it's going to be COLD  
are you sure they didn't forget you?  
no tips and I wouldn't even take it  
and would call their boss  
   
(5.21 pm) **David Silva says**  
Not sure if they forgot?  
   
(5.21 pm) **David Villa says**  
Have you called the pizzeria?  
   
(5.22) **David Silva says**  
No...  
Don’t want to.  
   
(5.24) **David Villa says**  
..........  
david.  
they probably forgot you.  
and you won't get your pizza.  
   
(5.28) **David Silva says**  
How could they?  
It's a huge company.  
I'm pretty sure they manage that.  
   
(5.31) **David Villa says**  
two hours, babe.  
:P  
it's usually 30-45 min.  
they forgot you.  
   
(5.36) **David Villa says**  
silva?  
you dead?  
hunger finally got you?  
   
(5.41 pm) **David Villa** **says**  
david?  
don’t ignore me  
one does not simply ignore david villa  
   
(5.45) **David Silva says**  
As if I could ignore you, you are too annoying.  
And stop quoting the Lord of the Rings, you weirdo.  
   
(5.47) David Villa says  
:((((  
   
(5.50) **David Silva says**  
You were right for once.  
They forgot me.  
   
(5.52) **David Villa says**  
serious?  
you finally called them?         
   
(5.55) **David Silva says**  
Yep.  
I got a really nice guy named James on the phone.  
The Adam guy I had earlier didn’t enter my order correctly and yeah, they forgot me.  
   
(5.58) **David Villa says**  
they forgot you  
I AM LAUGHING  
i am sorry  
ok i am not  
AHAHAHAHAHA        
   
(6.02) **David Silva says**  
Shut up.  
I get pizza and you get nothing.  
:))  
   
(6.03) **David Villa says**  
fuck you  
   
(6.04) **David Silva says**  
I even get to pay less AND get free ice cream.  
   
(6.05) **David Silva says**  
i hate you so much right now  
i only have instant noodles  
i am poor  
   
(6 **.** 06) **David Silva** **says**  
You are just lazy.  
Go ask Frank or Andrea to go to the shop for you, they never say no.  
   
(6.08) **David Villa** **says**  
they are broke too  
:(((((((  
   
(6.10) **David Silva** **says**  
Poor tiny you.  
Stop partying and save your money, you idiot.  
   
(6.13) **David Villa** **says**  
one does not simply tell david villa to stop partying  
especially when he is in new york city  
i now remember why we broke up you killjoy  
   
(6.16) **David Silva** **says**  
… Stop with LOTR, God.  
And we never dated!!!  
Stop telling people we were together!!  
My mum still thinks you moved to study in New York because I broke up with you!!!  
I am pretty sure she loves you more than me. :(((  
   
(6.20) **David Villa** **says**  
as she should  
everyone loves david villa  
everyone wants a piece of david villa  
david villa is the best  
   
(6.23) **David Silva** **says**  
David Villa should stop talking about himself at the third person.  
   
(6.25) **David Villa** **says**  
you are just bitter you didn’t tap that ass before i left for the new world  
as I said, everyone wants david villa  
   
(6.26) **David Silva** **says**  
…  
   
(6.27) **David Villa** **says**  
;) ;) ;)  
i am still hungry  
andrea and frank aren’t even home  
they have class til 9  
why did I even go to new york  
i should have gone to manchester with you  
you would have been my slave and would have made me something to eat already  
… urg no  
you see the sun something like 2 days out of 365  
no thanks  
   
(6.35) **David Villa** **says**  
silvaaaaaaaaaaaaa  
i am dying over here  
you don’t care  
i was right to break up with you  
you egoist  
wait til your mother hear about this  
   
(6.40) **David Villa** **says**  
silvaaaaaaaaaaaaa  
   
(6.42) **David Villa** **says**  
stop sulking  
i didn’t mean it  
you aren’t an egoist  
i won't tell your mother  
   
(6.44) **David Villa** **says**  
i demand you stop ignoring me right NOW  
   
(6.50) **David Villa** **says**  
david?  
   
(6.52) **David Villa** **says**  
ok i am ignoring you too then  
   
(6.55) **David Silva** **says**  
** **  
;) ;) ;) ;)  
   
(6.57) **David Villa** **says**  
are you serious  
are you fucking serious?!  
you ditched me to flirt with the freaking delivery boy?!  
you naughty boy!  
i am so proud of you!!!  
   
(7.00) **David Silva** **says**  
;)  
   
(7.01) **David Villa** **says**  
you learnt from the best after all  
the best being me  
of course  
   
(7.04) **David Silva** **says**  
Of course.  
Remind me why you are my best friend?  
   
(7.06) **David Villa** **says**  
I am the best  
The best is me  
   
(7.07) **David Silva** **says**  
… Right.  
   
(7.08) **David Villa** **says**  
did you at least get his free ice cream?  
and by his ice cream I mean real ice cream  
the stuff you eat with a spoon  
not the other thing  
if you get what i mean  
;) ;) ;) ;)  
   
(7.11) **David Silva** **says**  
Oh my god, just shut up.  
   
(7.12) **David Villa** **says**  
i bet he also got a nice tip ;) ;) ;)  
   
(7.14) **David Silva** **says**  
I am leaving.  
GOOD NIGHT.  
   
(7.16) **David Villa** **says**  
;) ;) ;)  
 

**David Silva is offline**

  
   
(7.20) **David Villa** **says**  
hum  
silvaaaaaaaa  
i am still hungry  
and bored  
silvaaaaaaaaaaaaaa  
come baaaaaack

**Author's Note:**

> This happened to my friend Sophie today and it really, really made me laugh. (I am such a good friend) I just had to write this. Some of the dialogues are the real conversation Sophie and I had today. 
> 
> She didn't get the phone number though. She didn't even get the free ice cream, they forgot about it too. XD


End file.
